Maturity in Relationships
(God's purpose)
The Goal of Recovery is to rebuild trust between God, Self, and Others.
The Bible has much to say about relationships.
It states that we were created for the very purpose of having a relationship with God, and because of this relationship we can also have right relationships with each other. Our relationship with God is the foundation stone in all of our relationships if we are to find our true meaning and purpose in this life.
Relationship with God is the foundational theme in reforming all other relationships through out the 12 steps.
The 12 steps
Step 1: We admitted (to God) we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors and that our lives, (i.e., relationships) had become unmanageable.
Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves (God) could restore us to sanity.
Step 3: We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of (God).
Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.(by God's standards)
Step 5: We admitted to (God) ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6: We were entirely ready to have (God) remove all of these defects of character.
Step 7: We humbly ask Him (God) to remove all of our shortcomings.
Step 8: We made a list of persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible.
Step10: We continued to take a personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admitted it.
Step11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscience contact with (God) praying only for the knowledge of (God's) will and the power to carry it out.
Step12: Having had a spiritual experience (with God) as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs.
RELATIONSHIPS
(God’s Purpose)
The Bible describes a God of power and purpose who seeks loving relationship with us despite our misguided attempt at self rule. He wants to reveal Himself and His timely will for us if we will accept it.
EPHESIANS 1:3—6...09
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundations of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself according to the kind intentions of His will, to the praise and the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved....He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to his kind intention which He purposed in Him...
We are: Chosen before the foundations of the world,
He has given us: Every spiritual blessing present in Christ Jesus
To be: Holy and blameless in His love, Children in His family that are
Knowledgeable of His will, kind intentions and purposes.
What is His will, kind intentions and purpose for you?
What about those around you?
What does it mean, “to be holy and blameless in His Love?
The Bible also states that this relationship with Him becomes damaged if we refuse to accept how He views others and refuse his grace to empower us to overcome our relationship problems with our neighbors and family members.
Our unforgiveness of others keeps us from receiving God’s forgiveness.
MATTHEW 6:14-15
For if you forgive men their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your heavenly Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Does this mean that God does not want to forgive us?
What does it mean?
Our holding hatred and resentment toward others keeps us from knowing genuine love for God.
I JOHN 4:19—20
We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.
I JOHN 1:5-8
And this message we have heard from Him and announced to you, that God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
When we refuse to acknowledge the value and worth that God places on places and ignore His purposes, we are left to slavishly struggle to control of our own existence. We exchange accountability in relationships for self centeredness and selfish individualism and forfeit relationship with God and with each other.
What does it mean to walk in the Light?
To walk in darkness?
The Eight Principle from Celebrate Recovery by Rick Warren, mirror the 12 steps of AA with one important addition. The admission that our tendency to play God is our primary problem.
1. Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.
Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.
2. Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.
Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
3. Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
Happy are the meek.
4. Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.
Happy are the pure in heart.
5. Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.
Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.
6. Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
Happy are the merciful. Happy are the peacemakers.
7. Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.
8. Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words.
Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires.
When we refuse to acknowledge the value and worth that God places on places and ignore His purposes, we are left to slavishly struggle to control of our own existence. We exchange accountability in relationships for self centeredness and selfish individualism and forfeit relationship with God and with each other.
When we refuse to acknowledge the value and worth that God places on those around us, and devalue them through our words, attitudes and actions. We foster misunderstanding and error rather than relationship and we hinder God’s willingness to listen to and answer our prayers.
1 PETER 3:7
You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
What does it mean to grant her honor?
MATTHEW 5:21-24
You have heard that the ancients were told,”You shall not commit murder” and “Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.” “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother, “Raca,” shall be guilty before the Supreme Court; and whoever shall say, “You fool,” shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. If therefore you are presenting your offering at the alter, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the alter, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.
Who is the one that is angry?
Who is told to take action to be reconciled?
What does it mean, “be reconciled to your brother.”
I CORINTHIANS 11:28-29
But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number sleep. But if we should judge ourselves rightly, we should not be judged.
I CORINTHIANS 10:17
Since there is one bread, we who are many are one body; for we all partake of one bread.
Our allegiance and devotion to our own ways, and our rebellion against Christ’s Lordship in our lives, keep us from receiving direction, purpose, and fulfillment; from knowing true freedom; and functioning as ambassadors in the kingdom of God.
GALATIANS 5:13. .16—17. .19—25
For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another...But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please...Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outburst of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
What does it mean, “to crucify the flesh?”
What does it mean, “to walk by the Spirit?”
Do our relationships belong to Christ?
How is this demonstrated?
Our allegiance and devotion to our own ways, and our rebellion against Christ’s Lordship in our lives, keep us from receiving direction, purpose, and fulfillment; from knowing true freedom; and functioning as ambassadors in the kingdom of God.
GALATIANS 5:13. .16—17. .19—25
For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another...But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please...Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outburst of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
What does it mean, “to crucify the flesh?”
What does it mean, “to walk by the Spirit?”
Do our relationships belong to Christ?
How is this demonstrated?
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