PREPROGRAMMING
It’s not just about what I think
photo from http://resources.uknowkids.com/blog/does-bullying-impact-your-childs-developing-brain
It’s What I Feel in My Gut
photo from http://azneuromod.com/treating-visceral-pain/
Why can’t we just think differently! Aren’t emotions and thoughts the same thing? Aren’t they just functions of the brain? Our bodies don’t really affect our thinking that much, do they?
Although we express ourselves in terms like being sick with grief, having enough intestinal fortitude to get the job done, and loving from the depth of the heart, most of us assume that these are just figurative phrases.
We have been taught that all of our thought processes are confined to the brain and central nervous system.
Ancient man had a different view. Early writers, including the writers of the Bible viewed the emotions as being located in various visceral organs, or at least they were experienced there.
Ancient man had a different view. Early writers, including the writers of the Bible viewed the emotions as being located in various visceral organs, or at least they were experienced there.
Some of the Greeks thought that emotions were the result of the effect specific fluids had on specific internal organs. This is an understandable conclusion considering what we experience.
Emotional experiences like, “Feeling Smothered,” having something, “Turn or Sour Your Stomach, “ or feeling, “All Choked Up,” make it hard to believe that emotions occur only in the head.
The Bible identifies our visceral organs as the place where we experience emotion. Often specific organs are described. Other times a more general description is given where emotions are collectively described as coming from the, “heart.” In this sense, the, “heart,” is presented as the seat of our emotions.
The Bible identifies our visceral organs as the place where we experience emotion. Often specific organs are described. Other times a more general description is given where emotions are collectively described as coming from the, “heart.” In this sense, the, “heart,” is presented as the seat of our emotions.
The, ”heart,” is also described as being part of our, “inmost being,” which is closely related to, “our spirit.” The exact nature of all of these terms can become very confusing, and is a source great speculation.
But one thing is very plain; They describe our emotional experience much more effectively than the textbook brain model.
Consider the following verses as they describe how we experience emotions. Note the qualities, intensity and variety they present.
-- King James
Proverbs 22:17 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth up the bones.
Consider the following verses as they describe how we experience emotions. Note the qualities, intensity and variety they present.
-- King James
Proverbs 22:17 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth up the bones.
-- American Standard
Job 30:27 My heart is troubled, and resteth not; Days of affliction are come upon me.
-- New International
Job 30:27a The churning inside me never stops;
-- King James
Jeremiah 4:19 My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war.
-- American Standard
Lamentations 2:11 Mine eyes do fail with tears, my heart is troubled; My liver is poured upon the earth, because of the destruction of the daughter of my people, Because the young children and the sucklings swoon in the streets of the city.
Our present awareness of various chemical messengers like hormones, endorphins, and prostaglandins that are carried through the blood to specific organs refute the idea that the brain is the only organ that experiences emotion.
Although the nervous system model is helpful for teaching anatomy, it is inadequate for describing the complexity that occurs with human emotions.
The Fight or Flight Response described earlier is one of hundreds, if not thousands of examples.
Not only do we experience the effects of emotions in our bodies, researchers have discovered that we also store memories of those experiences in our bodies.
Silvan Tomkins, the founder of, “Affect Theory,” describes our bodies as being born with an ability to respond to the world on an emotional level independent of conscious thought.
The Affective Response is autonomic, rather than voluntary. This response is more intense and more spontaneous than a voluntary conscious response would be. It involves the whole body, but most notably, the skin, facial muscles and eyes, along with the heart and visceral organs.
Not only do we experience the effects of emotions in our bodies, researchers have discovered that we also store memories of those experiences in our bodies.
Silvan Tomkins, the founder of, “Affect Theory,” describes our bodies as being born with an ability to respond to the world on an emotional level independent of conscious thought.
The Affective Response is autonomic, rather than voluntary. This response is more intense and more spontaneous than a voluntary conscious response would be. It involves the whole body, but most notably, the skin, facial muscles and eyes, along with the heart and visceral organs.
Affective theory describes a kind of emotional memory that is linked to emotional responses, and used to communicate an emotional state.
The preverbal sounds, and body language that the newborn uses to communicate is primarily affective. This communication is universally human, and not subject to culture at this stage. Our ability to express ourselves using body language, and to read the body language of others is also primarily affective.
Psychologists claim: Interpersonal Communication is:
Psychologists claim: Interpersonal Communication is:
55% Body language
38% Voice, tone, inflection and cadence
+ 7% Words we choose
___________________
100% Communication
This means: We often unintentionally send strong messages through our appearance and are often unaware of the content others may be receiving and we also receive powerful messages unintentionally sent from others.
Therefore : We have about a 93% chance of messing up even when we say all the right words!
No wonder it is so easy to be misunderstood! Especially if the other person has a different body chemistry, different emotional make up, and different life perspective than I have!
100% Communication
This means: We often unintentionally send strong messages through our appearance and are often unaware of the content others may be receiving and we also receive powerful messages unintentionally sent from others.
Therefore : We have about a 93% chance of messing up even when we say all the right words!
No wonder it is so easy to be misunderstood! Especially if the other person has a different body chemistry, different emotional make up, and different life perspective than I have!
MEN WOMEN
Who can understand them?
I am sure that you can remember times when others have reacted to you in a way that appeared to have nothing to do with the words you were saying.
Remember:
Our affective response is very fast! Even spontaneous!
Our affective response is an autonomic response!
Our affective response reveals our inner feelings and associated beliefs.
It happens before we think.
We may be unaware of it if we are not paying careful attention.
Consider the following example:
You came home from work early and find your wife is not in the house. You decide to take the time to try to get something done on a project you started sometime ago. You are working on your project when your wife enters the room.
Earlier that day she told you that she would be late coming home because she would be stopping at the beauty salon.
Unfortunately you forgot.
You greet her as she enters the room with, “Hi honey. How was your day?” but don’t get up and make eye contact.
She is quiet, and you continue, “Was it a hard day? I noticed you were late.”
She remains silent, then after a long pause she asks, “Don’t you notice anything different?” You look up and……?
Evaluate the Importance of your affect below:
We are going to do the questions twice, so the questions now.
You will evaluate again and compare later.
1 (as not important)
Evaluate the Importance of your affect below:
We are going to do the questions twice, so the questions now.
You will evaluate again and compare later.
1 (as not important)
10 (as very important)
_____Your initial expression?
(when she entered the room)
_____ Your adjusted expression?
(when you looked up)
_____ Your initial tone of voice?
_____ Your initial tone of voice?
_____ Your adjusted tone of voice?
_____ The initial words you say?
_____ The initial words you say?
_____ The adjusted words you say?
_____ Your attention to her hair?
_____ Your logical analysis of her?
_____ The truth about how you feel?
_____ How you express what you feel?
Now rescore without the powerful influence of expectations.
Rescore the exercise above, changing the scenario little.
Now rescore without the powerful influence of expectations.
Rescore the exercise above, changing the scenario little.
This time, your wife did not change her hair, and told you she might be delayed by road construction, and was.
How would the scores in the exercise above be different?
What we expect from the other person is the biggest factor in how we interpret, i.e., (judge) the affective/emotional signals others send to us.
The emotional expectation of the other person is the biggest factor in how they will interpret, i.e., (judge) our affective/emotional response to them.
The importance of becoming more aware of the affective (gut feeling) messages we send and receive, is obvious! These messages are much stronger than any intentional messages we could verbally communicate.
No rational explanation could evoke the same degree of emotion.
If our words don’t match our affect, we are considered insincere, superficial and not speaking the truth, even if our words are 100% accurate.
What does your body language and voice say about you?
Are there hidden messages that come with your expression of emotion? (Expectations? Demands? Ultimatums? Threats)
(example) Acting Tired; Messages,
“I worked hard today.”
(so you had better leave me alone!)
What is your affective message and how do you send it...
When you are tired?
When you are treated unfairly?
When you are frustrated?
When feel you are being ignored?
When you are hungry?
When you are threatened?
When you are angry?
How does what you believe you are communicating compare with what others say they see?
How does what you believe you are communicating compare with what God would say He sees?
New International
Prov23:16 My inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.
What is your affective message and how do you send it...
When you are tired?
When you are treated unfairly?
When you are frustrated?
When feel you are being ignored?
When you are hungry?
When you are threatened?
When you are angry?
How does what you believe you are communicating compare with what others say they see?
How does what you believe you are communicating compare with what God would say He sees?
New International
Prov23:16 My inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.
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