(8) Be Angry and Sin Not (Our Wonderful Counselor)

As we have seen, God’s intent for relationships with Himself and with others is far above what any of us experience. Although He provides us with opportunities, instruction, desire, and both natural and spiritual abilities, we still fall short. 

It’s as though there is a force keeping us from achieving His goal for us. Paul the apostle; author of much of the New Testament states:

ROMANS 7:19
For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.

The fall of humankind into sin, as described in the Genesis account brought a continuing consequence to all people, even those who are in the process of yielding their lives to the lordship of Jesus Christ. 

Although Adam and Eve did not experience immediate physical death, a form of death did occur as they took the fruit, and became experienced in the knowledge of doing evil.

GENESIS 3:7-8
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. And they heard the sound (voice KJV) of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord

In their distraction of guilt, condemnation, and denial, they hid themselves from the option of seeking God’s forgiveness and restoration.

By default, they set aside God’s purposes, and plans.

They disregarded God's kind intentions, and expressions of loving kindness.

Their thoughts were focused on a different feeling, or, “affect,” this new knowledge of evil exposed them too! They were preoccupied with the feelings they were experiencing.

The Bible does not say how long Adam and Eve hid themselves, but it does say that God lovingly sought them out. Calling to them, by name and then waiting until they were ready to respond.

He did not hunt them down like fugitives, or catch them by surprise and assault them with accusations and stern condemnations. God’s responses to Adam and Eve when they finally came forward were in the form of questions to Adam; as would be done by a counselor.

Perhaps with the intention that Adam might recognize his responsibility, repent, and be restored...Where are you?,.. Who told you you were naked?.. Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?.. What is this that you have done?..

Notice God’s awareness and sensitivity to Adam’s feelings.

In psychology, the feelings, or emotions that a person experiences, is called their affect.

 Although the Bible does not say what Adams affect was, his behaviors and responses do.

Adam was now experiencing fellowship with the devil. They shared the same affect; one of insecurity, fear, guilt, shame, helplessness and confusion. They shared the bondage of denial and self deceit.

The diagram below illustrates the progression that occurs in this spiritual fall. 

 

(above modified from ,”Velvet Steel”, a class Created by Theo Johnson)

John 8:34 Everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.

This is a stark contrast to what God desires for us, and our neighbors. He is the author of reality. Through the act of creation He established order, rule, and laws, of both physical and spiritual things. 

He is the Ultimate AUTHOR-ity of what constitutes meaning, purpose, and true fulfillment in life here on earth, and in eternity. Because of this, AUTHORITY, He also is the ultimate source of truth, knowledge, and righteous judgment.

As we continue, look at the, “Path of the slave.” Think of it more as a pattern of thinking and responding; A cycle that repeats itself over and over in each of our lives; a natural pattern that occurs when we reject God’s will, or plan.

The first recorded sinful outburst of anger listed in the Bible was Cain’s murderous outburst toward his brother Abel. Here the full potential of the broken relationship was realized as Cain’s INNER TURMOIL led him further and further from the truth.

Cain was the first human truly born in sin. This condition is described by Paul in his letter to the Ephesians:

EPHESIANS 2:1-3

And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince and power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh and of the mind, and were by nature sons of wrath, even as the rest.

Jesus amplified this:

John 8:44

You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desire of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks of his own nature; for he is a liar, and the father of lies.

The devil’s link of communication with Cain did not have to come through an amazing display of beauty, enticing intellectual cunning, or seductive manipulation as it did to Eve in the Garden of Eden. Through birth, it was a built in part of Cain’s nature and personality. 

He inherited it from his parents due to their broken relationship with God. To be influenced by a lower nature was now natural for him, as it is for all of us. This bend toward rebellion was resident in his flesh, and modeled by his parents. He had both the heredity, and the behavioral training for sinful thoughts, desires, and behaviors.

The devil’s strategy is to work in league with this evil human nature, empowering it, energizing it to action. His goal is to cause a person to disregard inhibitions, and ignore informa­tion that would restrain or defuse our rebellion against God’s plan for us. This was the source of Cain’s INNER TURMOIL. 

James the brother of Jesus writes about this struggle, and how we are to respond.

JAMES 4:6—8,9a, (9b paraphrased),l0

But He (God) gives greater grace. Therefore it says,

“GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT HE GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double minded..(view your evil plans and intents from God’s perspective and repent with mourning)..Humble yourself in the presence of the Lord, and he will exult you.

Long before Cain did anything wrong, God was aware of Cain’s INNER TURMOIL. He is intimately aware of our inner struggles as well.

I KINGS 8:39 KJV

...for Thou alone doest know the hearts of all the sons of men...

When God asked Cain questions, God was not seeking information, or confused. He was drawing attention to Cain’s affect, and feelings, encouraging him to reflect and gain understanding. 

God used His Wonderful Counselor approach to lovingly draw Cain back to Himself and to restore His relationship with him.

GENESIS 4:5 KJV

And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? And why is thy countenance fallen? If though doest well, shalt though not be accepted? And if though doest not well, sin is lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

Another translation describes it as:

If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? and: sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it. NASB

Unfortunately Cain did not heed God’s warning. Cain was not receptive to God’s offer to TALK ABOUT, AND REFLECT ON his feelings. His mind was already made up. He was blinded by SELF DECEIT.

Venting Our Anger

GENESIS 4:8a And Cain told Abel his brother...

Perhaps it went like this. Abel may have recognized that Cain was troubled and asked him what was wrong. Cain could have retorted, 

WHAT IS WRONG! WHAT IS WRONG! YOU KNOW BLANKETY BLANK GOOD AND WELL WHAT IS WRONG! AND IT MAKES YOU PRETTY HAPPY DOESN’T IT! I’LL BET YOU GET A LOT OF SATISFACTION OUT OF IT! DON’T YOU!...

DON’T ASK ME WHAT IS WRONG!

Counselors call this venting. Until recently, it was thought that venting provided relief; a kind of safety valve for pent—up emotions. 

Newer studies have shown that most venting tends to escalate and increase overall tension, only giving a temporary sense of relief. 

Continued targeted venting, that is; venting at the person we are angry with, reinforces confused conclusions, distorted thoughts and false perceptions. Targeted venting energizes emotional energy that validates escalation to emotional and physical violence. 

This type of venting should not be confused with pouring out the full contents of our hearts to God in prayer. God already knows our needs and faults, but He desires that we would bring them before Him, and promises to assist us in our weaknesses. 

This is not the time to pretend to be holy; this is the time for frank honesty with God.

ROMANS 8:26—27

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself interceded for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Hurtful venting should not be confused with exposing our intense feelings during formal counseling, or expressing them privately, or in group to mature Christian friends with hopes to gain strength and support for coping, or better insight or understanding of ourselves and our situation.

The bible encourages us

to seek out these kind of relationships:

PROVERBS ll:14a

Where there is no counsel, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

Repeatedly the scriptures tell us to bring our needs and troubles to God, confessing our sins to Him and each to other, forgiving each other, and receiving forgiveness. King David, described as a man after God’s own heart wrote:

PSALMS 32:1—5

How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit! When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to Thee; and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; and Thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin.

It is not hurtful venting when we provide necessary information to those around us about how we are feeling, or make an assertive statement about what we are going to do.

 (example)

“I am feeling very upset right now. I am going to take a short walk to allow myself to calm down so that I can listen better. I will come back and resume our conversation in 40 minutes.”

Instead of holding, hurting, and harboring, or burning, boiling, and blasting; we are to direct our anger, according to the will and plan of God.

EPHESIANS 4:26

Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.

Jesus assertively demonstrated this in the righteous anger He displayed at the temple. The scriptures say that He forcefully threw the merchants out, overturning their tables, and stampeded their livestock. Once vacant, the blind, the sick, and the lame entered and He healed them. In seeing this the children of Jerusalem cried out in the temple saying, “Hosanna to the Son of David”, fulfilling the scriptural promise made by God to King David centuries before. This was an important event! Jesus had an important appointment to keep! It was the time to bring healing to his people, and a special offering of perfected praise to His Heavenly Father. His, “consuming zeal”, was in agreement with God’s timing, and God’s plan.

MATTHEW 21:16

Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise.

Sampson had a similar experience wielding the jawbone of a donkey for a weapon. Sampson was no paragon of virtue. He consistently displayed poor character qualities and impulsivity in the choices he made. But this time he was Spirit led, it was God’s timing, and a thousand Philistines were slain. 

In contrast, Moses was said to be the most humble, meekest man on earth, (Num 12:3) yet his outbursts of anger lacked God’s approval. Early in Moses’ life, when he killed the Egyptian who was beating the slave he did not receive God’s approval. Moses’ anger may have been justified, but his timing and method were not. 

Later, after the Exodus from Egypt, when Moses was leading the people through the desert, Moses vented his resentment toward God’s people, calling them rebels. He then vented the intensity of his anger; possibly to intimidate the people by striking a rock that God commanded him to speak to. 

He displaced his anger with the people to the rock. God condemned his action for not sanctifying God before the people. Moses’ anger did not accomplish the plan of God. 

Consequently Moses and Aaron were not allowed to enter the Promised Land.

JAMES 1:19

... the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

Cain’s festering feelings

led to action as well.

GENESIS 4:8b

And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.

Whether Abel voluntarily responded to help Cain, or was intimidated and forced by him; the Bible does not say; but it appears that Abel could have been helping his brother in the field when he was murdered.

Even so, our Wonderful Counselor God provided Cain with two more opportunities for repentance.

GENESIS 4:9-10a

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” And he said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” And He (God) said, “What have you done?

Again Cain did not respond honestly to God’s questions. Cain had developed a strong pattern of resistance to the voice of the Lord, along with an unwillingness to examine his intentions, thoughts and motives. Up to this point his ability to hear God was intact.

Perhaps the presence of his brother and family, and their prayers on his behalf were responsible for God’s repeated extensions of mercy. Perhaps God simply had mercy on Cain's crippled inner man.

   

But there came a point when God’s presence became intolerable. Cain’s allegiance to the feelings he shared with the devil had become too great. After hearing the consequences of his actions, the Bible says;

Cain fled from the presence of the Lord.

Many who experience outbursts of rage and anger, and even those who hold frozen anger, in the form of resentment and bitterness or depression may feel that they are weak, or helpless in their efforts to gain control over their thoughts and feelings. 

We may require the people around us to, “walk on eggshells”; or expect them to heed special rules or routines to keep us from becoming upset. 

Since we often feel we are controlled by the attitudes and actions of others we may deny personal responsibility and project blame onto our targets. 

We can feel justified in our insensitivity or outbursts, believing that our target is asking for it. We may rationalize our behavior thinking that it is, “good to, be brutally honest”, or take pride in our false sense of, “self control”, as we hold our anger inside and close people off in calloused disregard.

If our families have tolerated these behaviors, we may accuse our targets of being weak and immature and needy of the experience so that they can, “grow up and not be so overly sensitive.”

Cain may have experienced this. He may have thought that he only struck out in a moment of weakness; that an uncontrollable rage just rose up from within him. 

This does not mean that he did not have strong affection for his brother. On the contrary strong emotional dependency and closeness often heightens the sense of rage that may accompany feelings of rejection, or separation. 

He may have thought; “I just want my brother to, (really) understand, how badly I am hurting, and (realize the intensity) of what I am experiencing.” He may have had no intention of causing permanent injury. Afterward he may have had extreme feelings of guilt, remorse, worthlessness, and helplessness, but not responsibility reasoning, “How can I be responsible for what I cannot control?”

This is the DENIAL that keeps us locked in as a slave. It works in tandem with feelings of CONDEMNATION. The greater the sense of CONDEMNATION, the greater the tendency to rely on DENIAL.

In his confusion, he may have even blamed God for making him defective in a way that caused him to act shamefully. This would be another attempt to project his sense of self condemnation and avoid the bad feelings he was experiencing.

Many who harbor angry feelings, express anger toward themselves as well. We may knowingly, or unknowingly demonstrate it in actions and words that communicate low self esteem. 

We may allow ourselves to be used, or taken advantage of by employers, family, or friends, accepting mistreatment as though we deserve it. Our anger may be repressed, or held in without our awareness, and converted into a physical ailment, or an array of symptoms which may, or, may not reflect aspects of an actual trauma we experienced.

Repressed anger may take the form of self punishing behaviors, that is; knowingly, or unknowingly acting with disregard for the loss, harm, or punishment our actions may bring to us. Dependencies on alcohol, drugs, and gambling, and sexual addiction often have their beginnings based in unresolved anger. 

As we identify with people who practice these behaviors, we become less aware of changes we are experiencing in our own personality and become indifferent to alienating ourselves from the kind of positive relationships we experienced in our past. 

Like Adam and Eve we disregard what once was precious. We may experience personal hardships, suffer loss through fines and disciplinary actions, and loose important relationships as we suppress awareness of our responsibilities, and display passive/aggressive tardiness, and procrastination.

We may frustrate others and ourselves as we attempt to undo the harm we have done, through hollow gestures of kindness, or try to compensate for our failures and deficiencies with intense efforts at unnecessary overachievements. 

We may weary and isolate ourselves with positive compulsive activities like excessive religious activity, volunteer work, compulsive cleaning and shopping, often unaware of our deeper need to distract ourselves from the discomfort of our feelings. 

It may even take the, “ALL AMERICAN” form of, “WORKaHOLISM” as we pursue an endless list of goals, but never allow ourselves time to stop and get in touch with what is going on inside.

At times of overwhelming stress, or threat, our inability to maintain a sense of emotional security, stability, or personal worth can result in regression to infantile rage, infantile withdrawal, or childish narcissistic outbursts as we attempt to protect and bolster the fragile core of our wounded inner self.

Fortunately this is not God’s Plan for our existence and the torment and suffering is totally unnecessary! 

That is of course unless we want to continue to depend on the, “Self System,” for autonomous auto regulation described earlier.

 

the Self-made Man