(14) 12 Step Recovery? (Why would I want to do that?)

12 Step?

(Why would I want to do that?)

"I am glad they are trying to improve their lives, but I just don't think I can relate to someone like that." 

Many people are put off, or feel irritated when they are encouraged to attend a 12 step religious program for something that is not commonly recognized as an addiction problem.  

Most of us view ourselves as being different than the people who struggle with addictions. We may consciously or unconsciously look down on these people believing that, "If they had made better choices they would not be in the situation they are in today." 

Few of us want to experience, or even know about the chaos, hardship and suffering they experience due to their addictions.  We usually want to keep our lives separate from this kind of negativity. "As far away as possible," may be the only safe distance most of us feel comfortable with. 

When it comes to religious activities a12 step Recovery Group would not be our first choice.

For Goodness Sake!

Most of us select churches or ministries in the same way we would select a school or neighborhood to live in. We compare and make choices based on the positive thing we desire. We consider how we would fit in and look for ministries that match our needs, and needs that match the positive skills we have to offer. 

If successful, we feel proud to be part of something so positive. We value and seek to protect the goodness we see in ourselves and those around us. In this setting we often achieve status, and work to maintain it. 

We encourage others to do the same, and we usually become very uncomfortable when one among us does not fulfill their responsibility or betrays the values we share.

If however, you are a person in this setting who is struggling, you may feel that it is necessary to conceal your struggle to maintain your image of goodness, along with the image of your church. 

Even in a Christ centered organization it is easy to focus more on the goodness of the organization, congregation, or leadership than on the actual goodness of God. The old saying, "God helps those who help themselves," describes our natural human characteristic to want to rely in our own sufficiency and avoid admitting our failures. 

We would much rather attempt to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps than admit our deficits and accept that we need God's help.  

"I may have a problem or two, like anybody else, but I'm not one of those people! I'm basically a good person!"

Years ago after High School, I participated in an evangelism training program focused on communicating God's love with people in the community. I was surprised to find that the biggest obstacle to experiencing the grace of God, and receiving the forgiveness and restoration He offered was the perceived goodness we tend to believe we have without Him.

Most of us are familiar with the following parable 

from Luke 18 10-14 KJV.

¹⁰Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. ¹¹The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. ¹²I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. ¹³And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.¹⁴I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

In the story, the Pharisee was not unlike a typical religious person of today. He was not bragging as much as simply expressing his appreciation and gratitude to God for the Goodness in his life!

 If you will notice, he was not taking credit for the Goodness, on the contrary, he was giving credit and thanks to God for all of the Goodness he was experiencing. This is not unlike what often happens even in Recovery during testimonies. The difference is, what he believed about himself in comparison to others, and what he believed about his need for a deeper dependency and reliance on God.

James, the brother of Jesus puts it even more directly as he addresses people who struggle with anger and conflict in their lives.

¹ What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 

² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 

³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

⁴ You adulterous people don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 

⁵ Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 

⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 

⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 

¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:1-10 NIV

In Mark 10:18 KJV, Jesus stated,

     "There is none good but God," 

The bottom line is that none of us truly likes to humble ourselves or allow ourselves to be humbled in a way that exposes our vulnerabilities, poverty or weaknesses. Why is this? Could it be fear of rejection, discrimination or persecution from other people like ourselves? This certainly is a big part of it.

Principle Eight of Celebrate Recovery and it's companion verse read: Yield myself to God to be used  to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words.

Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires for the Kingdom of Heaven is their.  Matthew 5:10 N L T

Bill Wilson, originator of AA and the 12 step process, found his struggle with alcohol to be insurmountable until he made a surprising discovery.

When he stopped blaming others,

stopped denying his responsibility,

stopped trying to fix himself and those around him,

stopped demanding support from his friends and family,

stopped isolating,

became supportive of others who were struggling,

began receiving support from others who were struggling,

sought God's help through the 12 step process with others

 

He and those with him found lasting sobriety.

His wife, Louis, founded Al-Anon, the group established to support the families of men and women who struggle with alcoholism. Although she was very supportive of Bill, she was unable have any success in helping her husband with his addiction. She suffered poverty, abuse and extreme peril due to his drunkenness. She desperately needed Bill to change. Bill's family and friends needed him to act like himself. They needed, "The Bill they knew," not the angry drunk he had become. All these people were trying to build and maintain the "good life similar to the Pharisee’s life," while Bill was tearing it down.

 When it comes to life dominating struggles, family and friends are rarely able to provide the type of support that is required for lasting change, and they certainly cannot approach God from the same perspective as the group working through the 12 steps. Their needs are too different. They are too locked into their current roles and expectations.

Step12:    

Having had a spiritual experience (with God) as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs.

Bothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. James 5:6

Revelation 12:11 

And they overcame him (Satan the Accuser) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony;

In the beginning many find the Recovery process frustrating. It can seem loosely organized and unnatural to those not familiar with it. The material may seem simplistic and lacking in substance, the activities repetitious.  But as you watch people opening their hearts to God, and hear their testimonies about God's goodness and responsiveness in meeting their needs, you begin to see the reality of recovery coming to life!

Why go?

"I'm here because the judge ordered it." Is a common reason people give when asked, "Why did you come?" Intense emotional pain is another. Often it is the pain of loss, sometimes a consequence of their own behavior, sometime a circumstance they have no control over. A few wander in to support a friend. When the pain of consequences or circumstances exceeds the fear of discovery people come.

  Consequently, most people who come to Recovery meetings participate at a location other than the church they attend. Their goal; to gain control of the behavior that is causing them trouble.

 Their intention: to quit coming as soon as the goal is reached. They usually want the behavior to change, not themselves. God is offering much more than most people bargain for, but it takes courage to take the first step.

When the fear of pain or loss exceeds the fear of discovery, or change, then you are ready to begin. If you lack courage, ask God. He is faithful to provide, but His help doesn't always come in the form we expect.

Recovery: a safe place to share struggles without damaging those around us.

Recovery: a refuge and a place of belonging no matter where we are at.

Recovery: provides a place to care for other and be cared for.

Recovery: a place where we experience respect and give respect to others.

Recovery: a place to learn, grow, and become genuinely strong.

Recovery is a place where we can see and learn how to become resilient.

Recovery: a place where we can be honest without fear.

Recovery: a place where we can share what God is doing and how it affect us.

Recovery: a place to grow to accept change even when it is hard or painful.

Revelation 12: 10-11 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is the salvation and strength and kingdom of our God, and power of His Christ: for the accuser of the brethren is cast down which accused them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death.